Today I am overwhelmed by all of the little things. They pile up in little invisible places. They are small and insignificant in comparison to the garish, glaring, big things in life. Then all of a sudden one of them pops up! Staring you right in the face with the audacity of a "big" thing. Then you notice the one next to it, the one next to that one and so on. Wow! Where did they all come from? And you realize that the little things are there all the time, just sometimes hidden. Do you have to take care of the little things? You bet you do! The good thing about taking care of the little things is that they're little. They don't take much time and are out of the way quickly. If you keep doing the little things, eventually the accomplishment is a "big" thing. I'm a big picture person and when the little things finally worm their way into the big picture, they get my attention! I should notice them more often. I never do dishes until the whole sink is full. Then I say, Wow! I guess I better wash these dishes. Some people never have even one item of silverware in their sink. As soon as they "dirty" a dish, it goes into the dishwasher or better yet, washed immediately then put up. I always wanted to be like that. To have a shiny empty sink. Oh, it happens...when the sink becomes completely full and I wash the dishes. For a brief period of time, until that first glass or plate go in, the sink is pristine and emulates the sinks of all the neat people. Then here comes that first plate, then the second, a pot, a coffee cup, an empty plastic container, some forks, spoons, and knives, and voila, no longer does the empty sink exist.
What does this have to do with gambling? I'm working on that. Right now I am consumed with the spectacle of the little things and how big a job they are when they gang up and all get together.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
High Rollers
Richard and I were watching an episode of Law and Order today. The victim at the beginning of the episode was a "high roller". His brother-in-law had "hired" a whiz kid poker player to ambush him. The kid had the guy in a game and eventually had him down 1/2 million.
High rollers fascinate me. They play big. They win big too, BUT.......... There's a side of that coin that we don't see. We just see them cashing big tickets. How many times have I seen someone cash out and admit to me "I put more than that in". I mean if someone wins big, they're ahead. Right? No, not necessarily. As a matter of fact, probably not. You see, to sustain the high roller status they have to have a huge bankroll. They have to hit bit, or they go down big time. And if you've been paying attention, the "big hit"s don't come as often as you might think they do.
When I leave a winner, it may only be $20. But I beat the high roller who lost hundreds or thousands. Which of us is it better to be? I say being a winner beats being a loser hands down. Duh! I beat them all. yea me!
I had a big hit tonight and am up. One day in a row...a winner. Stay tuned!
High rollers fascinate me. They play big. They win big too, BUT.......... There's a side of that coin that we don't see. We just see them cashing big tickets. How many times have I seen someone cash out and admit to me "I put more than that in". I mean if someone wins big, they're ahead. Right? No, not necessarily. As a matter of fact, probably not. You see, to sustain the high roller status they have to have a huge bankroll. They have to hit bit, or they go down big time. And if you've been paying attention, the "big hit"s don't come as often as you might think they do.
When I leave a winner, it may only be $20. But I beat the high roller who lost hundreds or thousands. Which of us is it better to be? I say being a winner beats being a loser hands down. Duh! I beat them all. yea me!
I had a big hit tonight and am up. One day in a row...a winner. Stay tuned!
Monday, August 31, 2009
Discipline
I have been giving discipline a lot of thought. When I was a teacher, discipline was what you did to a student when he broke the rules. In the context of gambling it is not the same thing.
By discipline I mean control. You have to have the reigns on what your doing. You can't let the gambling spin you out of control. Maintaining control is the key to success.
When losing: Discipline comes into play because you are behind. Maybe you had a plan and the plan is not working. Undisciplined thinking in this situation makes you do something you weren't going to do. The urge to play "catch up" is great and you start making risky decisions. Usually, this results in a deeper hole than the one you are already in. Never, has risky, come from behind behavior worked for me. My advice in this situation: get up, leave a loser, chalk up your losses.
When winning: Discipline here is in maintaining the winning position. My new mantra is: Once ahead, stay ahead, and leave a winner. If it's more about the gambling than the winning, then just back off a significant amount until you "have your fun". Then leave. The temptation when winning is this: Pressing your bet because it's "their money" and going for the big hit. This is reckless because the "big hit" can't be forced. It happens when it happens, and you can't control the timing of it. If pressing seems like a good idea and you want to do it, go on. But don't forget the mantra.
I guess sometimes I need someone to pull out that paddle I used to use 20 years ago when a student acted up in my class and had to be "disciplined". But you know what, the blog helps me stay focused and disciplined because I am smart and I know the right thing to do. It's just not always easy.
By discipline I mean control. You have to have the reigns on what your doing. You can't let the gambling spin you out of control. Maintaining control is the key to success.
When losing: Discipline comes into play because you are behind. Maybe you had a plan and the plan is not working. Undisciplined thinking in this situation makes you do something you weren't going to do. The urge to play "catch up" is great and you start making risky decisions. Usually, this results in a deeper hole than the one you are already in. Never, has risky, come from behind behavior worked for me. My advice in this situation: get up, leave a loser, chalk up your losses.
When winning: Discipline here is in maintaining the winning position. My new mantra is: Once ahead, stay ahead, and leave a winner. If it's more about the gambling than the winning, then just back off a significant amount until you "have your fun". Then leave. The temptation when winning is this: Pressing your bet because it's "their money" and going for the big hit. This is reckless because the "big hit" can't be forced. It happens when it happens, and you can't control the timing of it. If pressing seems like a good idea and you want to do it, go on. But don't forget the mantra.
I guess sometimes I need someone to pull out that paddle I used to use 20 years ago when a student acted up in my class and had to be "disciplined". But you know what, the blog helps me stay focused and disciplined because I am smart and I know the right thing to do. It's just not always easy.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Getting Good Cards
My friend Mary is a poker player. This past May we traveled together to Las Vegas. She participated in a World Series of Poker event. She loves "Omaha", a version of poker that I have no clue how to play. I don't play poker. I have enough to handle with the track, the game rooms and the casinos. Anyway, I asked her how she did. Now Mary knows the game of poker inside out. She is very patient and never plays every hand. When she doesn't win (which is seldom) she'll tell me "I didn't get good cards".
The lesson here is all the knowledge in the world doesn't enable you to win. You have to have good cards.
I equate this at the track to the races. I am very similar to Mary in my game. I have learned from experience that you'll go broke trying to play every race. Some races are so up in the air that you might as well toss a coin to figure out who's going to win. Other races are set up so the "chalk" (race favorite going off at unreasonably low odds) is heavily played and in prime position to win. Believe it or not, these are the races I look for. I can skip races waiting for this race. Now the every race gambler will say "But it doesn't pay anything" That's ridiculous! Every race pays something if you have a winning ticket. What they mean is it doesn't pay astronomical amounts.
I figured out a way to make money on these races. Multiple bets. One time I hit a chalk race that paid $35 dollars on the dollar. Why bother hitting those, the other guys say. Well I hit that $35 five times and won $175!!! I bet a total of $36 so I cleared $139. Not bad!!! And since I didn't waste money chasing tougher races I ended up a winner!
Since I had the talk with my son, I have made a conscious effort to meet his needs. I have been home when he's here, and have made supper. I am providing some day time day care for his stepson for which he is appreciative. I have spent time with him having good conversation about other things on his mind that are bothering him. I like to think that I have helped him.
Life is good.
The lesson here is all the knowledge in the world doesn't enable you to win. You have to have good cards.
I equate this at the track to the races. I am very similar to Mary in my game. I have learned from experience that you'll go broke trying to play every race. Some races are so up in the air that you might as well toss a coin to figure out who's going to win. Other races are set up so the "chalk" (race favorite going off at unreasonably low odds) is heavily played and in prime position to win. Believe it or not, these are the races I look for. I can skip races waiting for this race. Now the every race gambler will say "But it doesn't pay anything" That's ridiculous! Every race pays something if you have a winning ticket. What they mean is it doesn't pay astronomical amounts.
I figured out a way to make money on these races. Multiple bets. One time I hit a chalk race that paid $35 dollars on the dollar. Why bother hitting those, the other guys say. Well I hit that $35 five times and won $175!!! I bet a total of $36 so I cleared $139. Not bad!!! And since I didn't waste money chasing tougher races I ended up a winner!
Since I had the talk with my son, I have made a conscious effort to meet his needs. I have been home when he's here, and have made supper. I am providing some day time day care for his stepson for which he is appreciative. I have spent time with him having good conversation about other things on his mind that are bothering him. I like to think that I have helped him.
Life is good.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
The Talk, Part II
The day after the talk went well. I had listened to my son and paid attention to what he said. He wanted me home. So I stayed home. I fixed a nice supper and made jokes. We laughed and communed. The meal was good and the conversation was excellent. He felt better. I think he is having some rough times right now and is generally feeling down on life. This magnifies other perceived problems: i.e. my gambling.
I do love him very much. But I believe in self responsibility. Only you can fix your problems. Shifting blame for them elsewhere is non-productive. I learned while teaching that you have to face a problem and make a plan. Set a goal that will solve your problem. Work out the steps to reach that goal and your problem will be solved. Of course no plan is perfect and along the way sometimes you have to modify what you're doing. Constantly monitor the effects of your plan and adjust as necessary. Ultimately, if you stick with it your goal will be reached.
I do love him very much. But I believe in self responsibility. Only you can fix your problems. Shifting blame for them elsewhere is non-productive. I learned while teaching that you have to face a problem and make a plan. Set a goal that will solve your problem. Work out the steps to reach that goal and your problem will be solved. Of course no plan is perfect and along the way sometimes you have to modify what you're doing. Constantly monitor the effects of your plan and adjust as necessary. Ultimately, if you stick with it your goal will be reached.
Monday, August 24, 2009
The Talk
Yesterday my son came and had "the talk" with me. He told me I was sick and had a disease. He said I didn't care about my family and they were all depressed because of me. He dropped the F bomb on me several times and was generally very upset with me.
Gamblers are often ambushed by the people they love with "the talk". The people who love us know just where to stick the knife and twist. They know how to hurt and shame us. They know how to blame and degrade us. Because we love them, they have the power. They use it.
I was surprised that my child didn't listen when I tried to explain to him. I was a Math teacher for 30 years and I love numbers. I love the statistic and probability of gambling. I use my own money and I pay my bills. I haven't had a check bounce in three years. (My son cannot say this) There I go getting defensive, and my blog is not to defend myself.
I'm sorry he is unhappy. I will be home when he's home so that he can't say "I never see you". That seemed to be his main complaint. I can make him feel better by doing this.
I am not going to quit gambling. I love it and it makes me happy. I am financially secure and I take care of my other responsibilities. I wish he understood me.
Gamblers are often ambushed by the people they love with "the talk". The people who love us know just where to stick the knife and twist. They know how to hurt and shame us. They know how to blame and degrade us. Because we love them, they have the power. They use it.
I was surprised that my child didn't listen when I tried to explain to him. I was a Math teacher for 30 years and I love numbers. I love the statistic and probability of gambling. I use my own money and I pay my bills. I haven't had a check bounce in three years. (My son cannot say this) There I go getting defensive, and my blog is not to defend myself.
I'm sorry he is unhappy. I will be home when he's home so that he can't say "I never see you". That seemed to be his main complaint. I can make him feel better by doing this.
I am not going to quit gambling. I love it and it makes me happy. I am financially secure and I take care of my other responsibilities. I wish he understood me.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Bad Karma
There are so many things I want to write about today. I thought I would pick this topic because of something that happened yesterday.
I'm cruising along at the track, playing a multitude of simulcast tracks, dogs and horses. I'm deep into "homework" making my bets, mostly losing. Right now since it is the end of the month, I'm "pretend" betting to hone those skills. Being at the track is advantageous because I'm on the spot and can analyze the outcomes, payoffs, and my thinking simultaneously with the running of the race. It was about 3:30, the matinees were winding down, and Bluffs run was fixin to start. I had just hit a nice WP and Exacta/Quinnella combination at Southland. I'm at the window cashing in my $45 and making the rest of my matinee plays all at once. I turn around, and there's my friend Carol.
"Hi" she says. We start talking and she asks if I want to go to the game room with her.
#1. This is the last thing I want to do at that moment, because I am rolling so to speak, and I'm still not finished with my "homework". But I am a "do for others" kind of person, so I agree. The game room we both went to had closed down a month ago. Another one I go to was 5 minutes away. So I jump in my car and she follows me. (We don't ride together because I tell her I'm coming back to the track and I want to leave when I'm ready) If she's not ready, then I can leave. We drive over to "R and R's". I have a card there and Carol doesn't. Usually at these places if you come with a "member" they'll let you in.
#2. They wouldn't let Carol in. They said they were closed to new members and she couldn't play. One strike. Carol suggests that we drive to Hitchcock where game rooms are as plentiful as Shell stations. "Let's go to the one across from the Catholic church". We drive there and it takes another 15 minutes.
#3. Carol tells me when we get there that I went "the long way" and we could have been there sooner.
#4. They wouldn't let either of us in. They didn't even answer the door when we went in. We discuss our next option, and decide to try "Joker's Wild" down the road. (like the next Shell station) We drive down the highway.
#5. Some guy in a black truck cuts me off. He pulls right in front of me. Now, I'm feeling the bad karma and my blood starts to boil. I'm pissed and it's leaking into my psyche. We go up to the door with several people.
#6. They wouldn't let us in. The room and parking lot is full and I guess they don't need our money. Someone there tells us that "Ocean's" is run by a friend of the owner of the closed one we used to go to. It's right down the road. So we get in our separate vehicles AGAIN. We drive down the road, this time I'm following Carol. I guess she didn't trust following me since I missed the "short cut" before.
#7. We pull into the WRONG driveway. Honestly, when you're not sure where you're going and you just have general directions, turn right at the game room seems logical. Of course it was a different one (another Shell station). There's a couple getting into their car, so we ask where "Ocean's" is. It's the next driveway. The karma is really feeling bad by now and I'm wishing I was in my cozy little carrel at the track. We park at "Ocean's" nestled down in a dip behind a driveway and go in. YEA!! The girl who answers the door is someone I recognize from a past game room. Ok, it's looking up a little. We sign in, sit down, get our $5 match, and start to play our games. We start chit chatting, because this is why Carol said I HAD to come with her.
#8. Carol hits the "Take Out" button and the girl has to come over and fix it for her. She tells her "Don't do it again because if you do I can't pay you. I'm going to do it just this time." Now this is Carol's bad karma, not mine, but I'm sitting right by her and karma will rub off on neighbors.
#9. I lose.
I knew when I sat down that I was going to lose. My psyche was in such turmoil that it was inevitable. I was in a pretty bad mood and not very friendly. By the time we left, Carol had started apologizing over and over. Bad karma is a sure sign that you are going to lose. Ignoring it only means that later I'm going to tell myself, "I told you so". From now on, when I feel bad karma, I'm hitting the door!!!!
Carol hit the "Take Out" button three times by mistake. I guess her karma was bad too.
I'm cruising along at the track, playing a multitude of simulcast tracks, dogs and horses. I'm deep into "homework" making my bets, mostly losing. Right now since it is the end of the month, I'm "pretend" betting to hone those skills. Being at the track is advantageous because I'm on the spot and can analyze the outcomes, payoffs, and my thinking simultaneously with the running of the race. It was about 3:30, the matinees were winding down, and Bluffs run was fixin to start. I had just hit a nice WP and Exacta/Quinnella combination at Southland. I'm at the window cashing in my $45 and making the rest of my matinee plays all at once. I turn around, and there's my friend Carol.
"Hi" she says. We start talking and she asks if I want to go to the game room with her.
#1. This is the last thing I want to do at that moment, because I am rolling so to speak, and I'm still not finished with my "homework". But I am a "do for others" kind of person, so I agree. The game room we both went to had closed down a month ago. Another one I go to was 5 minutes away. So I jump in my car and she follows me. (We don't ride together because I tell her I'm coming back to the track and I want to leave when I'm ready) If she's not ready, then I can leave. We drive over to "R and R's". I have a card there and Carol doesn't. Usually at these places if you come with a "member" they'll let you in.
#2. They wouldn't let Carol in. They said they were closed to new members and she couldn't play. One strike. Carol suggests that we drive to Hitchcock where game rooms are as plentiful as Shell stations. "Let's go to the one across from the Catholic church". We drive there and it takes another 15 minutes.
#3. Carol tells me when we get there that I went "the long way" and we could have been there sooner.
#4. They wouldn't let either of us in. They didn't even answer the door when we went in. We discuss our next option, and decide to try "Joker's Wild" down the road. (like the next Shell station) We drive down the highway.
#5. Some guy in a black truck cuts me off. He pulls right in front of me. Now, I'm feeling the bad karma and my blood starts to boil. I'm pissed and it's leaking into my psyche. We go up to the door with several people.
#6. They wouldn't let us in. The room and parking lot is full and I guess they don't need our money. Someone there tells us that "Ocean's" is run by a friend of the owner of the closed one we used to go to. It's right down the road. So we get in our separate vehicles AGAIN. We drive down the road, this time I'm following Carol. I guess she didn't trust following me since I missed the "short cut" before.
#7. We pull into the WRONG driveway. Honestly, when you're not sure where you're going and you just have general directions, turn right at the game room seems logical. Of course it was a different one (another Shell station). There's a couple getting into their car, so we ask where "Ocean's" is. It's the next driveway. The karma is really feeling bad by now and I'm wishing I was in my cozy little carrel at the track. We park at "Ocean's" nestled down in a dip behind a driveway and go in. YEA!! The girl who answers the door is someone I recognize from a past game room. Ok, it's looking up a little. We sign in, sit down, get our $5 match, and start to play our games. We start chit chatting, because this is why Carol said I HAD to come with her.
#8. Carol hits the "Take Out" button and the girl has to come over and fix it for her. She tells her "Don't do it again because if you do I can't pay you. I'm going to do it just this time." Now this is Carol's bad karma, not mine, but I'm sitting right by her and karma will rub off on neighbors.
#9. I lose.
I knew when I sat down that I was going to lose. My psyche was in such turmoil that it was inevitable. I was in a pretty bad mood and not very friendly. By the time we left, Carol had started apologizing over and over. Bad karma is a sure sign that you are going to lose. Ignoring it only means that later I'm going to tell myself, "I told you so". From now on, when I feel bad karma, I'm hitting the door!!!!
Carol hit the "Take Out" button three times by mistake. I guess her karma was bad too.
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